I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
