Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize