god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
