No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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