I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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