Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
