Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
