you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
