There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
