I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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