Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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