Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
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