I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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