it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
