There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
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