I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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