nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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