Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he thought i was a dude.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
