i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
