you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
