How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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