one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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