I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
