i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
