Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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