I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize