Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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