I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My ATM looks so different sober.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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