What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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