i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
