so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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