just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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