playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Your cock deserves a montage
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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