It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I love you.
Bad choice
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