There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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