He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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