Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize