I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
