i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm getting married
To pizza
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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