I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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