I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
