RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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