my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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