What a fucking waste of an outfit
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize
