Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize