He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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