Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
