Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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