youre lurking in front of me
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
