The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
