went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
where are my eyebrows?
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