I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
