Are we in a gay sports bar?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
