Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
even my farts smell like vagina
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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