Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Randomize
