guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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