Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
