So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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